Hello Readers!
For the past few weeks, I've been writing part two of Bai Yun. This time it is more amusing and includes more fantasy. I used Grammarly to help me write this story and make sure the story made sense. The easiest part of using grammarly was fixing my mistakes. Another website I used to help me is called thesaurus. It's a website that tells you words you can use instead of using a boring words. For example, you can use spoken instead of said.
After I finished part two of Bai Yun I read it to make sure it made sense. Next time I'm going to try to include more unique words. Cause I didn't get the best score for it. Thinking of ideas was complicated for me. Re-reading my story to fix any mistakes was effortless for me. I hope you enjoyed my blog post.
What is your favourite part of my story?
Here is my grammarly score I got for my writing:
Bai Yun Reunites One mysterious day Bai -Yun had a feeling something interesting was going to happen. So she starts exploring as she does every day. Suddenly this magical portal appeared. This portal leads to a world called Palanda. Palanda is a world not like any other world. It doesn't matter what size, shape, or form you are, everyone's included. As the sun rises in Palanda, every panda wakes up and says a traditional prayer to have a long, happy life. Among the seas of Palanda there are three different types of boats. Blue boat to travel, to collect food you use a brown boat and purple boat for rescue uses. Bai -Yun decided she wanted to travel across the sea to find some friends. Bai-Yun enters the blue boat and finds two pandas who seem friendly there named Ling-Ling and Po. They are both females and come from the east side of Palanda. Ling Ling begins to introduce herself; she is from the east-west of Palanda, her family are fashion designers. Po acquaints herself. She says she is from the south-east of Palanda. Po's family creates art. Finally, Bai -Yun introduces herself Bai-Yun says; she is from the earth and transported to Palanda from a portal. Ling-Ling was very curious about Bai Yun. So she began asking questions about why Bai Yun came to Palanda. " Do you have any family here?" Ling-Ling asks. " My mother once said I have two siblings who live in another world. It might be this world I am trying to look for them." Po joins the conversation, " that is genuinely interesting. Are we able to help?" " Yes, you are. You guys will make it way easier for me to find my long-lost siblings. The boat arrives at a destination. This place is extraordinarily unique to Palanda because it has the most beautiful views and delightful food. Po is very familiar with this city because this is where she got raised. They exit and spot a restaurant. It's called " Foo San," It's the restaurant Po used to go to for every celebration. Food comes to the table and looks ambrosial. After they take their first bite, they can't stop. The food is spectacular and delicious. Po spots her favorite mall and tells the others. Then they walk to the mall in excitement. Bai Yun enters the mall first because she is thrilled. The first store they all spot is a store full of teddies! Ling-Ling loves teddies so do the others Ling-Ling ran into the store with excitement. She spots two pandas looking at purple dinosaur teddies. Both of the pandas look similar to Bai Yun. So she asks them what their names are. The male panda says his name is Tai Shan the female says her name is Mei Lan. " Do you guys have any other siblings?" asks Ling-Ling. " Yes, and we're trying to find them," says Mei Lan. " Oh, I have a friend who is also trying to find her siblings as well. Do you know your long-lost sibling's name?" Says Ling- Ling. " Yeah, her name is Bai Yun," says Tai Shan. " That is the name of my friend. Do you want to meet her?" "Of course we do," says the long-lost siblings. Tai Shan and Mei Lan go to look for Bai Yun. Mei Lan finds Bai Yun and tells her that they are siblings. Bai Yun is astonished that she finally met her long-lost siblings she's been trying to find. Both Mei Lan and Tai Shan are thrilled to be together forever.
Hello Jordan, It's Venice from HHS.
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you have followed my advice on writing a pat 2. Hopefully that didn't pressure you to writing one right away. The names of each of your characters are very interesting. Where did you get their names? The ending was very wholesome because Bai yun finally found her lost siblings, I am happy to hear that. Anyway that will be all from me. Keep up the great work.
-Venice